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When your male partner just DOESN'T GET IT

If your male partner doesn't understand how you feel at different times of the month, it can ruin your relationship. If they're anything like Sarah's boyfriend, he was so loving and easygoing but on the days she would struggle with low mood, crying spells and overwhelm, he just clammed up and mentally checked out. He said he couldn't handle her ups and downs. This made her feel even worse than she already did and the tension would lead to arguments and even more tears.

Sarah thought nothing could help and was really feeling like they needed to separate for a while or perhaps break up altogether. How could she feel so alone when she was struggling so much? Why didn't he get it or why was he only nice to her when she wasn't premenstrual? Then by educating herself on the changes in her body and the reasons for her menstrual moods, it changed everything for Sarah's relationship. She was able to advocate for herself and communicate to her partner in a much clearer way and learned how to create harmony and get support from him instead of tension.

Here's one of the things I taught Sarah when I worked with her: You are operating on a totally different system to your partner. Men are the masculine to our feminine and they operate on a 24-HOUR hormonal cycle compared to our 28(ish) DAYS. Think about your boyfriend as the ever-blazing, full sun and you as the moon with her month-long changeable phases - she waxes and wanes and how bright she shines willl change from week to week. When you are premenstrual you are like the waning moon, your energy is reducing and therefore you can't give to others in the same way. So we need to slow down, put in boundaries and give ourselves more space. We are more closely connected to nature than we think.

Love, Lisa x

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